A Letter To Miles

5 Oct

Note: I wrote a letter to Ella around her sixth week of life and will write one on each birthday. They’re stored in a special box I got for her while I was pregnant. I plan on doing the same for Miles, though I haven’t found the perfect box yet. I can see what I want in my mind’s eye but am unable to find it.

Dear Miles,

It’s so hard to believe that six weeks have already passed. Time is flying. Between the business of general life and your big sister’s antics, sometimes I feel like you just fall to the wayside. You’re such a chill little dude most of the time, I can just pop you into a sling or wrap and chase Ella. Because of this, I really treasure what your daddy and I have dubbed “Angry Baby Time” or ABT. From about 5:00pm until 10:00, you fuss, squirm, and sometimes bellow your head right off. Daddy takes care of Ella and I take care of you. You and I crawl into the big bed together and sing, rock, jiggle, nurse, and sing some more. Then, when you’re peaceful, I heave a sigh of relief and snuggle you while I watch a bit of television.

Your entrance into this world was a struggle for me. It was a hard birth. After we got home from the hospital, I cried about it while nursing you. Now that I have gotten to know you so much better, I would go through much worse to have you in my arms. I had been told that there is just something different about having a son. I wasn’t so sure I believed those folks, especially since their firstborns had been boys. But they’re right. This is NOT to say that I love you more than I love your older sister. It’s just the love is… different. There are different kinds of strings attaching my heart to you than what connect me to your sister. I am really cherishing these differences and am seeing just exactly how a mother’s love expands to accommodate each new child.

Already you are such a little person. Our “little man”, as we like to say. In general, you are very laid back. You don’t express your opinion about much but when you do, the world had better watch out! Your carseat seems to be getting the brunt of your opinion expression lately. You are such a peaceful boy and I am so incredibly grateful for that.

Everyone says you look like me or at least my side of the family. I have a hard time seeing it, so it will be very interesting to watch you grow up. Will you look like Mommy or Daddy or simply yourself? I’m tossing my hat in with the idea that you will simply look like Miles. No more, no less. Maybe a touch of me or your daddy here or there, but primarily Miles.

I love you so much. I can’t wait to see the child then man you become.

With love,

Mama

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