Never mind that I can’t actually consume caffeine anymore. Decaf coffee with soy vanilla creamer still counts, right?
Yeah, I didn’t think so. I exercise my imagination regularly.
Anyway. This morning before I had coffee, I was thinking about a facebook status update I had posted on Wednesday night. I expressed my frustration of the consequences of wearing my heart on my sleeve. Not only do people know my thoughts and heart’s expressions but they also use those bits of knowledge to act and react towards me. I prefer to have my life as something of an open book. While I do enjoy privacy regarding certain aspects of my life, I feel that I benefit from people who are open with their experiences and thoughts. Because of this, I strive to live the same way in hopes that I can reciprocate the benefit I receive.
However, there are downfalls. It’s not really worth it to go into the downfalls. I’m sure you can use your imagination (especially if you’ve had caffeine!) and come up with scenarios on your own. I am very familiar with the saying, “You can’t change others but you can change your reaction to them”. I’ve tried. Really, I have. Sometimes it just gets me in such an internal tizzy that I feel emotionally wrung out like an old scrub rag. Not the best way to give my family the best mother, wife, and friend I can be.
So I’ve decided to do something different because, quite frankly, I don’t want to change me. I like me. I like who I am and how I respond to people and situations. Of course there is always room for improvement. I am far from perfect. FAR. It’s the characteristics of the building blocks that are fundamental to ME that I am happy with.
Since I’m not going to shake up such fundamental parts of me, I’m going to change who I expose myself to. Narrow and trim it down. Always be open to new people in my life but not fret and stress away my emotional fortitude on those I can’t please, click with, or feel encouraged after spending time with them. Life is too short, too easy to waste, and too precious.