At a cross roads

9 Apr

I’ve been struggling the past few days.  What do I want to do with my little corner of the internet? I have this platform, this canvas to express myself and I’m not doing it. There’s been soul searching going on here and I think it comes down to this:

I know, in real life, people who read my blog. Not only do I know these people, but some of them are family. My baby sister. My aunts. My mom. My brother somethings pops over here. Sometimes I worry what they will think if I talk about my depression or parenting choices.  What if I decide to have a candid discussion series like Christine did in February on an “adult topic”? I don’t want to mortify my poor little sister. On the other hand, I really appreciated Christine’s openness and found the comment discussions very interesting.

I want to write about real things. Things that mean something to me. Things that might be a risk. Things that might be uncomfortable but that I know I benefit from talking about. It’s one thing to do that with anonymity. To have a pseudonym and just let it all out. It’s another when your actual name is attached to your writings and you have to own your words.

I’m trying to figure out just how much “owning” I want to do.


2 Responses to “At a cross roads”

  1. Stacy April 9, 2010 at 9:58 am #

    It’s YOUR page to express YOUR thoughts and feelings. Don’t write it for others – family or not. Write it for you. Just a lurker’s 2 cents… 😉

  2. carriermom April 9, 2010 at 3:14 pm #

    Oo, your “lurker” put it well. Go with what you want to, it is all about you anyways. Hehe 🙂

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