Sometimes, it’s hard for me to remember to take the time to individually connect with Ella. Miles isn’t a problem because, well, he’s a baby and in a baby carrier or nursing a good portion of the day. Aaron and I have time after the kids are asleep. But Ella? It seems to be slipping through the cracks lately.
I didn’t even realize this until the other day. She grabbed my hand and practically dragged me into the bathroom. She closed the door, locked it, climbed up on the back of the toilet to sit and told me to sit on the edge of the bathtub. Then, she proceeded to talk my ear off about all sorts of random subjects.
At first, I thought it was cute. But as the minutes wore on, I became increasingly frustrated and mentally fidgety. What she was telling me wasn’t terribly interesting. I had things to do! Then I took a good look at her face as she chattered away and realized she was glowing.
And suddenly, a knife in my heart twisted.
She needed this. This one on one time and connection with me. My baby girl was becoming a little girl and needed a different sort of attention from me. THIS is what I want when she’s an older girl in school. This emotional connection and easy freedom of shared thoughts and emotions. Even though what she is sharing with me at this time in her life I already know, I need to foster this practice NOW if I want her to do this in the future.
So I stopped fidgeting. I mentally put away the dishes and laundry behind a closed door for later. I focused my energy on her animated face, her words, and the emotions behind her structurally incorrect sentences. Within moments, Ella had talked herself out. She climbed down off the back of the toilet, hugged me and said, “Lets go get Brother, Mama. I’m sure he misses us”.
We unlocked the door and left holding hands.