Sleep Shakeup

Last week, I posted a picture of Aaron having put Miles to sleep. Ever since that night, things have been changing in the sleep department here. And for once, it has been for the good!

Now, I put Ella to bed every night and she slips into sleep so quickly. If it’s a rough night, it takes 30 minutes. Folks, I can’t even begin to express what progress this is. Last year at this time? She would wake up every forty minutes, sob and scream for 20, then fall back asleep for another 40. It would take Aaron up to 2 hours for her to go to sleep. Thank God her pediatrician took me seriously and referred us to our sleep specialist.

The best part of this sleep shakeup isn’t how quickly Ella falls asleep. No sir, that’s just the cherry on top. The best part is the bond that has developed between Aaron and Miles.

Ever since that picture was taken, Aaron puts Miles to bed with no assistance from me. Last night, I tried to wake Aaron up three separate times as he lay in bed with Miles. Nothing could rouse him beyond barely coherent.  It wasn’t until I finally came to bed that he woke up completely. I asked him if he felt like he wasted his night, having gone to bed at 6:30. He sat there for a moment, thinking. Then he replied with:

“No. Not at all. It meant I got to connect and snuggle with Miles. He sleeps with his ear over my heart the whole time and that is one of the best things in this world.”

Wordless Wednesday

What I came home to after spending a few hours last night with a friend.
shhhhhhh

Thursday Thoughts

There have been moments where I’ve questioned our choice to sleep with our children in our bed. To be completely frank, it’s hard. This set up has been the only way we’ve stayed sane with Ella’s sleep struggles. It has allowed us to meet her needs without having to get out of bed, which provides a small hope that we would be able to go back to sleep quickly. I’ve always been a bit jealous of friends who talk about how wonderful cosleeping is and how it encourages their family bond with night time snuggles and early morning giggles. For us, bedsharing was out of necessity and desperation, not happiness.

Then a couple weeks ago, something changed. I woke up with a strange feeling, something I struggled to identify. Finally, I pinned it down. I felt rested! Refreshed! I was actually ready to get out of bed instead of fighting sleep as I tried to roll out!

Then I realized everyone else was still sleeping. Did you read that? Everyone else was still sleeping. At 7:00 AM. Miles, Aaron, and Ella were still fast asleep. Even though I had to desperately use the bathroom, I refused to get up and run the risk of waking someone. So I laid there, luxuriating in the fact that I was the only one awake. At 8:00 AM, Miles opened his eyes with a smile and promptly sat up. His giggles woke Ella, who kissed Aaron to wake him up. We all talked and laughed together for a good ten minutes until someone’s limb ended up in my bladder and I had to break the spell to make a dash for the bathroom.

I got my wish. By following our instincts and meeting Ella’s needs, we got to celebrate as a family the huge milestone of sleeping past 5am. I am so incredibly thankful it happened this way. It’s a moment that I hope never to forget.

The Beginning of Validation

I have felt in my gut for over a year that Ella has sleep issues beyond that of a typical toddler. Severe sleep resistance, no tired signals until she was melting down, not being able to sleep more than twenty minutes at a time… I have a HUGE list of all her struggles, what we have done to try and help, what has failed, and what sort of works.

Today, I spoke with her pediatrician at length about what we have been doing. This was a follow up appointment to her 2 year check up where I brought up the issues (again) and a phone call following the check up. At this point, we had done EVERYTHING he had suggested in addition to our own research. He had one final suggestion and has asked us to give it two weeks. If things don’t get drastically better by the end of those 14 days, he is going to refer us to specialists at a pediatric hospital in Chicago for a consult and sleep study.

What makes me smile is that his suggestion was to bring her back to our bedroom and have a good old fashioned family bed. We’re going to get an extra full size bed from a friend and set it up next to our king size bed so that there is enough room for the bed hogging toddler, a nursing baby boy, c-pap using husband, and cover hogging mama. I really like cosleeping and am glad to have Aaron’s support in bringing Ella back to bed with everyone. She has been sleeping in her own room with Aaron for months now. He was kind of resistant to the idea at first (I suggested it a few months ago) but is now supportive since our pediatrician encouraged us. And Aaron agrees that it’s certainly less stressful to reestablish full family bed sharing than to drive for hours to Chicago and stay overnight in a strange hospital to run tests.

This is such an emotional relief for me. I have felt so lost, so unsure, so doubtful. I’ve known in my heart that something is NOT RIGHT. I’ve been in tears from frustration over her lack of sleep, my lack of sleep and all the fall out from the sleep deprivation. Having a medical professional confirm my thoughts, validate my concerns and SEE where my thought process is going. I feel like I have a whole new outlook now that there is a PLAN.

Even if the family bed sharing doesn’t pan out and the specialists in Chicago say, “So sorry but she’s just at the end of the curve that sucks”, I’ll have much more peace about the whole thing. I will know, without a doubt, that I have done EVERYTHING in my power to  help her.

Well, everything short of benadryl every night. The only night she’s slept all the way through was when she had benadryl for an allergic reaction.

So yes. This is where we are at. We would appreciate prayers as we work through yet another transition.