Archive | June, 2009

A New Perspective

29 Jun

Friday brought quite the scare.

I won’t go into all the gory details, but I was showing signs of preterm labor. At 32 weeks and 6 days, it was just too soon for Miles to decide to make an appearance! After some frantic searching, a couple friends offered to come to the house to tag team watching Ella (who was napping) while I went to my appointment. Thankfully, things calmed down and Miles is staying safely inside until it is truly time for his birth.

I realized what an amazing community of friends and support network I have in our town. How many people can say that within 3 minutes of posting on the local community message board, that a mom with 2 young children dropped everything and came to my house? Or that this same mom cooked me and my family dinner? Or that another friend who lives 5 minutes away dropped everything and drove over to stay with Ella until the other mom go here so that I could leave ASAP? Or that this friend’s husband followed behind in his car and offered to drive me, who he had never met?

Another change of perspective I received was regarding what really matters. So many things fight to pull me in all directions at the same time. Often, it’s hard to stay grounded in what really matters and give my full attention, physical and emotional, to my family. During pregnancy I often narrow my focus and shed the unnecessary. I thought this had already happened but the evens of Friday and things that followed this weekend drove home that I need even more honing to my focus. This honing began yesterday when I finally clued in and I already see such a difference in today.

Not being pulled and tugged physically or emotionally in 35 million directions allowed me to spend a few hours this early morning, fret free, with my daughter at her favorite park. I completely overdid it but it was really a beautiful time we wouldn’t have experienced without having gained my new perspective this weekend.

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No regrets

25 Jun

The other day, I realized I have no regrets. Yes, I do feel bad that I have had a lapse of emotional control and yelled at Ella. I do feel bad that I have spanked her once or twice. But I realize that I am only human and have forgiven myself and asked Ella for forgiveness as well. She might not understand the words, but she certainly comprehends the emotions behind my words.

I don’t regret spending hours upon hours sitting on the couch while she cluster nursed for days on end, even though I was so fed up and ready just to throw in the towel.

I don’t regret being a few minutes late for church because it was so important for her to find her Little Baby to ride in the car with us. If anything, I learned that we need to get going earlier to allow for her needs.

I don’t regret holding nonstop conversation with her in the grocery store, even though I look the fool, to keep her involved in the situation and avoid a melt down.

I don’t regret being dairy free while nursing and preparing dairy free food and removing oranges from our diet (all things I love!) because I know that in 18 years or so, she’ll be out of the house and I’ll have the rest of my life to enjoy those things. Yes, it sucks. Yes, I’ve been in tears in the grocery store aisle but it is all temporary and this too shall pass.

I don’t regret having to lock myself in the bathroom for 2 minutes while she pounds on the other side just so I can get a breath and shed a tear or two before composing myself and deal with her being SUCH a toddler.

I don’t regret the emotional exhaustion I come to from finding new ways to deal with her toddler nature, to help her learn appropriate ways to express emotions and live within home boundaries/rules without squelching her personality.

I don’t regret leaving her with my husband or friends for a few hours to get out of the house childfree (well, as child free as a pregnant woman can be) to refresh and replenish my emotional and mental well being.

THIS is what I need to remember when I’m struggling. 12 years from now, I will NOT regret spending this time and energy in raising my child. I am doing the right thing, even though I am a flawed human and will make mistakes. As long as I admit them, make the appropriate repairs, and learn, they won’t be regrets.

Wordless Wednesday

24 Jun

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Ooops!

23 Jun

Wow, it’s been a while. You know it’s been a while in between posts when your own MOTHER comments on it while you’re talking to her on the phone. What can I say? It’s been busy busy these past days. What I can do is offer pictures and a video as peace offerings!

This past weekend, we went to the pool for the first time this season. Ella had a BLAST! She didn’t care one bit for the kiddie pool but loved, loved, LOVED the regular pool! By the time we left, Aaron decided that next time I can take pictures and he’ll get in the pool since she and I had so much fun! That made me happy since he didn’t want to go in the first place. 🙂

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And for some reason, I can’t embed the video I uploaded to flickr… strange. Well, you can click here and view the 30 second clip of swimming time!

A few other thoughts before I have to wander off to make dinner…

With a 103 degree heat index high today, I’ve made the executive decision to have BLT sandwiches, homemade potato salad and watermelon for dinner tonight. I was encouraged to see those who commented on last Monday’s post about summer food and am going to give sandwiches a try. Let’s hope it doesn’t backfire on me!

And do you remember this Wordless Wednesday post about Elmo, aka the furry red creature of my nightmares? Well, that VERY DAY I posted the Wordless Wednesday picture we were gifted our very first Elmo dvd. The universe hates me, I swear. I don’t think Ella would have even known that it could go in the dvd player but the woman who gave it to her explained that it was for the TV and that she could watch it when she got home!!! So now we watch Elmo every day after nap. Thankfully it’s only 20 minutes long.

Photo tag

18 Jun

The lovely and marvelous Mrs. Soup tagged me for this photo meme!

These are the rules:

~ Open my first photo folder
~ Scroll down to the 10th photo
~ Post that photo and story on my blog
~ Tag five friends to do the same

The first photo folder on my computer only has 3 pictures in it, so I went to the next one. To my horror, this is what came up as the 10th picture:

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This was taken late last October, when Ella discovered that pants can not only go on your legs but on your head too! Of course, she insisted I partake in this fashion. I had taken pictures of her with pants on her head, so there was no way I was getting out of not having my picture taken as well.

I think I look rather fierce.

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At this point, I’m suppose to tag 5 friends to do the same but I don’t know five friends who have blogs and read mine! So consider yourself tagged and please post a comment with a link to your pictures. I want to see!

Wordless Wednesday

17 Jun

Saturday Morning Tradition

Saturday morning tradition: Daddy and Ella watching Elmo clips from Sesame Street online while I’m at work. I could never figure out how she figured out who Elmo was (we don’t have TV reception) until the beans were spilled this weekend!

Meal Chatter Monday

15 Jun

Summer is upon us in the midwest. The humidity is bordering on stifling (Yes, I know. Just wait until August) and the heat is making my ankles swell. The last thing I want to do is turn on the oven and turn out a home cooked meal but if I want any hope of sticking to my weekly meal budget, I have no choice.

I had grand plans of making this recipe (we prefer it without thyme) in the crock pot but I fell asleep while putting Ella down for her nap and when we woke up, it would never be done in time if I tried to crock pot it. I was stumped. The last thing I wanted to do was turn the oven on and bake the casserole in addition to the corn bread but I had no choice. Taco Bell wasn’t on the menu plan!

So I decided to shred the carrots to help them cook faster and put everything into my largest pot to have it simmer on very very low heat for about 45 minutes. When that was finished, I fried up the cornbread like pancakes to avoid the oven. I wasn’t sure how the cornbread cakes would turn out but they plumped up nicely! It didn’t matter that they weren’t muffins or cut into squares since we top it with the beans. Actually, I think I like it better this way!

How do you try to beat the summer heat while cooking?

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