Wordless Wednesday

Two Years

This letter will be going in her special box, where I put little things like her yearly letters and hair from her first hair cut.

Dear Ella,

It simply amazes me that you are two years old today. I felt this way on your first birthday and I’m sure I’ll feel like this on your third. Even though some days in toddlerhood seem to drag on forever, when it’s all said and done the days are literally gone in a blink of an eye.

A few weeks before your birthday, you suddenly started identifying colors. Out of nowhere, you pointed to our house numbers and correctly named them all. Your four word sentences are giving me a run for my money.

The things you love: Elmo, playing outside, Blues Clues, bumble bees, The Wiggles, sweeping, washing dishes, going on walks, rough housing with Daddy, juice, loving on your baby brother Miles.

You imitate everything your Daddy and I do. You fold your clothes with your teeth like Daddy does. You mimic my soothing techniques I use with your brother when you tend to your Baby Emily. I think in just a few short weeks, you’re going to decide that you are DONE with the high chair because you want to sit in a big girl chair like Mama and Daddy.

You have a very nurturing and sensitive heart. When a baby cries in the grocery store, you immediately want to run to the baby and take care of it. Sometimes, if the baby keeps on crying, it’s all I can do to convince you the mama is taking care of her baby.

Once you form an opinion, you are hard to budge. I nearly died inside the day at the park where you informed a friend of mine that daddies are suppose to use bottles, not mamas. You were never told that mamas couldn’t use bottles! Daddy just explained to you how daddies feed their babies the night before and you formed your own conclusions.

This past year has brought so much change to your life. You are now climbing, shouting, talking, singing, dancing, counting, and coloring. You have a new little brother as well! The adjustment to a sibling has gone so peacefully. I’m so incredibly proud of you!

With love,

Mama

So painful!!!

Yesterday morning, around 12:30, I half way woke up thinking, “wow, that contraction is uncomfortable”. Next thought was “It’s not going away, what the heck?” When I finally woke up completely, I could hardly move due to the intense pain. It was worse than my gallbladder, worse than childbirth. I finally managed to get out of bed and crawl on my hands and knees to Ella’s bedroom where Aaron was sleeping. He got up and I could only manage to crawl to the hallway, where I stayed on all fours while he got my phone.

The ER said to come in right away but I wasn’t permitted to bring Miles with me because the CDC banned all not sick children under the age of 12. I had planned on having Aaron drop the baby and I off at the ER so I could be seen. There wasn’t enough milk in the freezer to last him more than a couple hours and we all know that an ER trip is a 6 hour time frame at the minimum.

So I called Sherry (my midwife) to ask her if she had any idea what was going on and if she had any suggestions. Based on where my pain was, she said it sounded like a kidney stone. At her suggestion, I got in a very hot shower and drink as much water as I could stand. Sherry did insist that if the pain didn’t lessen up within 20 minutes that I needed to go to the ER. She would come and watch both children while Aaron took me. When I expressed concern about there not being enough milk, she assured me he’d be fine and sleep through most of it. I believed her because she is AMAZING with little ones and my children just love her.

Thankfully after about 20 minutes in a really hot shower and downing over 40 ounces of water, what I think was a kidney stone passed. Give me natural childbirth any day! It was simply the most painful experience EVER.

I’m going to make an appointment with my general practitioner this week in hopes of discussing what happened and what I should do if it happens again. I’m fairly certain it will because this morning I woke up with quite a bit of discomfort in the same kidney as before. UGH.

I’m Speechless

She’s two. When did this happen?

A Bus Adventure

A few days ago, I was about to loose my mind. Things were crazy around the house with the kids and we needed to GET OUT. But Miles hates hates hates the carseat and I couldn’t really handle him screaming all the way to our destination. I was wistfully wishing I could just wear him in our baby carrier while driving when I saw the bus trundle. An idea was spawned and I emailed my friend who is a bus riding pro. The next day we went on our bus adventure and I took a few pictures to illustrate our trip.

We live about a block from the bus stop and Ella felt like SUCH a big girl walking next to me instead of holding my hand.

The transportation of choice for the boy child.

We arrive and are about twelve minutes early.

I quickly learned that this is about ten minutes too early for a toddler.

So we waited.

During that wait, I quickly learned a new nursing trick.

And she waits some more.

You should have heard the excited shouts from Ella when the bus finally turned the corner. You would have thought the ice cream truck was coming!

Unfortunately, there aren’t any other pictures of our adventure because once we got on the bus it was just too much to figure out how to keep Ella in her seat and juggle the camera. We had a good time and our bus goes right past our library! How exciting is that?

Even though I didn’t find my mind on the bus, we sure did have fun looking for it and spending time with our friend as she showed us the ropes of bus travel.

Children See, Children Do

This very short video always haunts me every time I watch it. Even more now that I have a young child who is mimicking everything I do, down to the smallest detail. Remember the forgetting snacks episode I talked about?

On the way home from getting groceries yesterday, we hit some serious road construction and it took me almost a half hour to get through one intersection. Have I mentioned that Miles HATES the carseat? Well, he does. He hates it with the burning passion of ten thousand suns. It’s horrible. During this time of helpless stop and go, he’s shrieking and screaming. It was all I could do to not just shout back to let out my frustration as well!

Instead, I remembered the snacks and the short video. I called back to Miles, saying that we were heading home, I was going just as fast as I could and that I was so sorry he was so upset in his carseat. After saying those phrases a few times, I suddenly heard a sweet little voice saying the same words I was, mimicking my tone of voice and vocal inflection perfectly. The syllables weren’t perfect and not all the words were there, but you could tell she had been listening to my response and was desperate to copy it.

On one level, I’m so happy she is such a compassionate child and looks to me for her cues. On another level, I’m absolutely terrified. It’s like being the star of a reality television show being watched 24/7. But instead of fading from the limelight a season or two from now, I will come under even heavier scrutiny. Instead of simply having a million dollars at stake, I have the character of a human being to mold.

It is such a heavy burden. A scary burden. But I know that with the partnership of Aaron, support of my community, and reliance on God, it will be okay.

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day

At 7pm tonight I will be lighting a candle for all those known and unknown, named and unnamed. Being unknown and unnamed does not mean they were or would have been any less loved.

“Every soul that comes into this world comes here with a very specific mission. When that mission is completed, the soul can leave. The holiest of souls need so little time here in this world that some never even make it outside the womb, others only need their heart to beat once, others not even that.”
~ Rabbi Yitzchak Ginsburgh~

For The Record

While I didn’t forget snacks this grocery trip, I did forget the car keys. Good thing I accidentally left the front door unlocked…

I just want to get groceries!

Two children under two years of age. It’s a teetering house of cards on the best of days. Bad days are akin to trying to build a house on quicksand. as it stands now, I’m typing this one-handed while nursing Miles and Ella is “washing dishes”in the kitchen where I can see her.

Most things are like this these days. Attempting activities one handed while juggling two or three other things with the other. It’s an adventure, let me tell you.

Once upon a time, grocery shopping use to be an annoyance. Then I use to think think getting to the grocery store with just Ella was a challenge. It was at times, but nothing like it is now. Trying to balance everyone’s naps (which don’t line up, of course), meal times, dodging rain downpours, and anything else that may crop up makes it near impossible. For some reason, going to the grocery store didn’t happen this weekend when Aaron was home so here it is Wednesday (again!) without any grocery shopping done. My pantry is looking rather woeful and there are no eggs in the refrigerator. I’m praying that when Miles wakes up from his nap, there will be enough time to dash out the door to the store before the school buses emerge to clog the roadways.

Well, dash as well as one can with a toddler in hand, wearing a newborn, and a diaper bag along for the ride.

Sometimes, I get really frustrated with the pace (or lack there of) that my life has taken. Things take immense planning and then there has to be contingency plans. I’m always forgetting things, too. It became very clear to me how often that happens just the other day. Ella has begun to have imaginary play. She packed up her purse, got on her beep beep car and told me she was going grocery shopping. Suddenly she jumped up and said “Oh no! No snacks! Right back!”. She ran to her toy box, grabbed imaginary snacks and got back on her little car.

Just in case you didn’t catch that, it’s become a regular occurrence for me to get EVERYONE and EVERYTHING in the car to suddenly remember I forgot the most important thing of all — snacks! They keep the peace and by warding off the grumpies.

Oh hey! I had more to say but Miles is awake! I’m going to read the story I’ve been promising to Ella, then pack the diaper bag (with snacks), wrestle clothes on my nudist of a daughter, and attempt to make it out the door before school lets out.

Who am I kidding? My goal should be to make it home before dinner.

Either way, wish me luck!

Wordless Wednesday