What A Day

Yesterday was amazing and fantastic. Productive, encouraging (despite Ella being awake from 3:30am on until nap at noon), and I felt successful. Aaron was gone to his second full day and it went SO well.

Today?

Not so much.

While both kids slept until 6:30 today, they tag teamed me from 3:30 until 6:30. Miles would whimper and gag in his sleep and just as he was drifting back off, Ella would be awake. Minutes after she was back asleep, Miles was at it again. Lather, rinse, repeat. When we got up for the morning, I had a migraine from lack of sleep and that just colored our entire morning.

You know the saying, “If Mama ain’t happy, nobody happy”? I’ve found that is SO TRUE in our house. My temperament, emotions, and reactions really set the tone for our home. It’s a constant challenge for me today to keep a positive outlook. So while Miles is miserable and can only be happy while bounced upright in a carrier (unless asleep, which he is now THANK GOD) and Ella is melting down constantly because she “miss Daddy”, I’m trying to keep a positive attitude because I just know things will get exponentially  worse if I don’t.

Of course, that doesn’t keep me from looking forward to nap time. Which is in one hour and 40 minutes.

Not that anyone is counting.

Hello! My Name Is: Domestically Disabled

I really do have super fail at maintaining our house. I feel like a useless stay at home parent because I’m not staying on top of things. Aaron works 10 hour days of hard manual labor to provide for us and the last thing he should have to come home and do is dishes and pick up toys. Granted, I’m sure once in a while won’t kill him but every night? Not okay. Spending the entire weekend trying to get the house caught up? Again, not okay.

So my goal is to start small and work up to maintaining the whole house. The only things that I’m asking to be his responsibility are:

• Feeding the cats
• Taking garbage out
• Putting diapers on the rinse/wash cycle at night
• Putting them in the dryer in the morning
• Bring up laundry from the basement that has already been washed, dryed, and folded. We have a laundry shoot I can send the clothes down in but I physically can not haul it back upstairs.

The past week, I have been “testing” myself and have been able to stay on top of the dishes (for the most part). He hasn’t washed a single dish. Granted, coming home on Saturday after work to find a sink full of dirty dishes from lunch was really frustrating but he acknowledged that he slacked off there and will stay on top of that in the future. I appreciated him telling me that without any prompting or mention from me.

So this afternoon I’m creating a master list of daily, weekly, monthly chores that I want to accomplish and then putting them into a new Google calender to email me my list for the day. I’m only going to be focusing on the kitchen, dining room, living room and bathroom. I think if I can stay on top of that for 6 months, I’ll branch out into the bedrooms and then tackle the basement. In the past, I’ve had epic failure because I try to do *everything* at once. It was so overwhelming and impossible that I quit before the end of two weeks. I’m hoping by taking small bites at a time, I’ll be able to eventually get the entire house under my belt. Kind of like how an ant eats a buffalo, eh?

I’m super super nervous about how I will handle Aaron being gone 6 days a week if he gets into CNA training. He’ll leave for work at 7:15am and get home late at night after training is over. On Saturdays, they meet all day. Sundays would be his only day off. He’s going to be exhausted, stressed, and worn out. I really want Sundays to be relaxing and rejuvenating for him. The only what that will happen is if I stay on top of the house during the week. I’m very thankful that the training is only 6 weeks. Shorter than a minimester. I can deal with that. WE can deal with that.

Another hope I have is that if the house is all caught up and presentable by the time Miles is born, it won’t go into too much disrepair if I take a couple weeks off from house keeping. I’m planning on using disposable plates, bowls, and silverware until I get back up on my feet, so aside from laundry and general house pick up, we should be good to let things slide. Right?

This and That

It’s been a busy day so far! Dishes were washed, diapers cleaned, two breakfasts eaten, carpet vacuumed, WIC appointment attended, lunch consumed, and Ella is down for her nap (by herself!!!). All written out, it doesn’t seem like a lot but trust me, it’s more than I’ve been able to accomplish in a few weeks. I’ve been suffering from severe migraines since hitting the second trimester. The longest to date lasted eleven days! My midwife referred me to a neurologist and his only two suggestions were: give birth and take 400mg of vitamin B2. Since this first suggestion isn’t an option until August, I’ve been dutifully choking down my B2 with breakfast. So far, it appears to be working. I only have low grade headaches that are magnified if I sit at a desktop computer for very long. Aaron’s laptop appears to be less an of an issue, so I find myself online more when he leaves his computer at home for me.

I really am feeling the need to have more structure to my day. For the past few months, it feels like I’ve just been rolling through the day without much of a plan. There is a set day for grocery shopping, going to church, and working, but other than that, nothing! When I’ve tried to implement a more formal schedule to my life, I’ve always gone completely overboard and burned out ASAP. My hope is that this time, I’ll do “structure lite” and hope it sticks. Maybe something like this?

AM
Breakfast
Dishes
Diaper laundry
Weekly chore
Lunch

NAP (sleep or do something for personal time)

PM
Post-nap snack and snuggle
Vacuum living room
Get dinner started

After that, Aaron arrives home and we just fall into the routine of dinner, post dinner cleanup/play, and bedtime. Maybe this time, I’ll be able to stick to it and feel like I accomplish something every day other than simply surviving.

(side note: Ella’s been sleeping for TWO HOURS, people! That’s nearly unheard of!!!)

On a complete change of subject, I just wanted to share how much I love my midwife. She is the type of person who I could have a relationship outside of the professional realm and she feels the same way! So if she isn’t catching a baby, she’s coming over tomorrow evening for chatting and tea. Evidently, she made a birthday gift for Ella but wasn’t able to make her party in October. I can’t wait to see it tomorrow. Knowing Sherry, it’ll be personal and perfect.

I feel like this year is going to be one of change. Aside from the obvious change of an addition to our family, I feel the need to do a personal overhaul. I feel like I’m in a rut, stuck, and I don’t like being this way. Even if my changes don’t fit in with what’s “hip and cool” or isn’t even in with the “out crowd”, I hope to be able to be true to myself and stick with it. That is completely different post and I hear the small child waking up!